Vacationing with Friends – 5 Tips to Make it a Success

I remember it well. A Christmas get together with friends; a considerable amount of mulled wine; lots of fun, and lo and behold, a plan to go on holiday with them the next summer. In the enthusiasm of the moment we all got excited about the idea and talked into the early hours about all the fun we would have, how the kids would just love being together on the water, and the sort of property we could rent when we were sharing the cost. Sadly, it was all a bit of a disaster, but that is another story!  We all learnt a lot though and I want to share some of that with you.

Friends usually decide to vacation together based on a mutual desire for a similar style of getaway, and plans are often made in the relaxed atmosphere of a festive occasion or card game with neighbour ‘friends’. When reality sets in, it’s often too late to back out as deposits get paid and cancellation policies apply.

So, before you get too excited, here’s the top five tips to make vacationing with friends a holiday to remember, for all the right reasons!

Make important decisions in the cold light of day

Since many vacation plans are made over a few beers or a bottle or two of wine, make sure you confirm any decisions in the cold light of day. This is the best time to get practical. Will sharing a house for a week really work?  Do you know your friends well enough for them to witness your quirky habits?  Do the children get on with each other?

Agree on your priorities

Get together and be totally honest with each other. Then create a list of your collective criteria – the ‘must have’, ‘nice to have’, and ‘in your dreams’ lists.  Watch out for areas where you radically disagree.  Let’s say your friends would prefer to go without TV but it is a top priority for your family.  Or, your idea of a vacation is to relax, read books and eat yourself silly, and your friends are excited about all the activities you can do to keep fit. This could be an sign of problems ahead. You need to be in sync with each other in order to have a successful vacation.

Set ground rules

The issue that can cause most friction is the different way families have of managing day-to-day activities such as meal times, childrens bedtime routines, cooking and housekeeping. If one family relaxes their hold on regular routine for holiday times, and the other doesn’t, this can create a conflict situation that will surface in the very early stages of the vacation. If you don’t address some of these issues before you get into vacation mode, this will have a considerable impact on your enjoyment of the holiday you have spent months looking forward to.

Decide on bedroom allocations early on in the planning process

Don’t leave it until you arrive at the property to decide who is having which bedroom. This can cause friction at the very beginning particularly if there is a master with ensuite, or if there is only one queen bed and the rest are doubles. Resentment can be quick to build over something like this, so it’s best to get this sorted out very early in the planning process.

Plan how you will manage housekeeping and food budgets

This is another issue to discuss early on. You don’t need to get into the finer detail until nearer the vacation, but talk about this aspect at the outset. Will you share the cooking?  Who will do the shopping? How will you pay for groceries?  If you see a vacation as a junk food extravaganza and your friends are talking about all the healthy eating they plan on doing, it would be good to get this sorted out before you go any further!

Renting a good sized, upscale cottage becomes much more manageable when you share the cost with another family but if it has the potential to cause dissent, and at worst, the loss of a friendship, think again.  Your vacation should be a relaxing event – not a hot bed for arguments and resentment so in some cases, it may be best to think of it as a good idea at the time, and leave it at that.